will i ever be satisfied

i don't know how to explain it except that everything is underwhelming. made this site cos i felt i had nothing to do, still don't feel like i have anything worth saying. one day i'll regret not writing while i can, maybe i'll look back and struggle to remember who i was and how i felt. when will i do something, and keep doing it, because i like it? applying for more jobs tomorrow, if there are any. i may have a shitty internship this summer, i may not. i'll know by the end of this week. i'm kind of hoping for nothing at all.